the Only One.

you look right through me
like i'm a ghost of your past
haunting your memories
& clouding any chance of a future with you.

(i sigh like a whisper and pray this won't last.)

you always talk so slow
saying the things you think
i don't know...

but babe,
jokes on you.
I know, I know we're through.
So just go ahead & go...


if i could claw my way out
of this web of lies i've spun
i'd tell you exactly what i've done
if i could climb out of this pit as deep as my scars run
then maybe you'd see that all along
i was the only one.

Bit Lips & Calling it Quits

The shades of me lately make up

A quiet shushed backwoods song

Of better-late-than-never blues

Sad-sea-sick-goodbye greens

And bad-days-won’t-get-me-down browns.

My cheeks speak of

Sun-kissed reasons

That love is easier to understand

It if leaves at the turn of a season,

But tornado thoughts

Tear through my mind

During the hours

I am the weakest..

(7am-10:22pm)

I am left ravaged

Split into two crumbled conclusions

& the dark makes the colors

much harder to find.

So we sift it out

All day/night

Burn bridges, yell louder

Smile/skip/kick out the gray…

I was the one to leave

& you were usually right.

And in my bed I know

I can simply escape

Blankets overhead

I’m dreaming

Of new landscape.

Swallowing those:

Failed-you-more-than-once feelings

Breaking all the blues/baby-come-back ious

On my back teeth

But hey,

I’ve got a date with the man on the moon

So please don’t wait up/hold your breath/hang around

There is much time to sip

And redwine to waste

& I’m not planning on coming home

anytime close to soon.

sinking plans.

the only truth 

i've come to learn

is that mirrors lie

& anything can burn.

my face has changed,

 it has new lines

they tell of love, loss, laughs

they're creases made of tricky time.

i still breathe

in & out

and love a love

that holds no doubt.

but we all make plans,

& God just laughs

we build our lives

when we really are all just aimlessly floating 

on deflating life rafts...

heart sunk.

i didn't know until i knew,

what lost could feel like--

knife in chest, no breath.

i didn't know what losing could do...

heart strung on so many strings.

strung out on so many things,

and I just can't

catch my breath.

i couldn't tell you so many thoughts

purple black and blue.

i couldn't share my heart

until i could see myself through...

& the ache in my heart,

inkless pen

and knots in my hair,

all prove that I do.

love / miss you.

xx

... but it can't stop me from thinking of you.

i've spilt my ink in surrender.

until whenever,

hb.

I can't wait.

Can not wait.

To meet this beautiful thing inside me.

(But I'm waiting & with the turn of the season I feel a little closer to home.)